1    When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
2    look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
3    puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or
4    four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it.
5    I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
6    'thus I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
7    him as a present to Mistress Silvia from my master;
8    and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber but he
9    steps me to her trencher and steals her capon's leg:
10   O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself
11   in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
12   one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
13   as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had
14   more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did,
15   I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I
16   live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
17   thrusts me himself into the company of three or four
18   gentlemanlike dogs under the duke's table: he had
19   not been there--bless the mark!--a pissing while, but
20   all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!' says
21   one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
22   out' says the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
23   I, having been acquainted with the smell before,
24   knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow that
25   whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
26   the dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
27   the more wrong,' quoth I; ''twas I did the thing you
28   wot of.' He makes me no more ado, but whips me out
29   of the chamber. How many masters would do this for
30   his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
31   stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
32   been executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
33   he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't.
34   Thou thinkest not of this now. Nay, I remember the
35   trick you served me when I took my leave of Madam
36   Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
37   do? when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
38   water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
39   thou ever see me do such a trick?

40   Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well
41   And will employ thee in some service presently.

42   In what you please: I'll do what I can.

43   I hope thou wilt.
To LAUNCE
44   How now, you whoreson peasant!
45   Where have you been these two days loitering?

46   Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.

47   And what says she to my little jewel?

48   Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
49   currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

50   But she received my dog?

51   No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
52   back again.

53   What, didst thou offer her this from me?

54   Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by
55   the hangman boys in the market-place: and then I
56   offered her mine own, who is a dog as big as ten of
57   yours, and therefore the gift the greater.

58   Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
59   Or ne'er return again into my sight.
60   Away, I say! stay'st thou to vex me here?
Exit LAUNCE
61   A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!
62   Sebastian, I have entertained thee,
63   Partly that I have need of such a youth
64   That can with some discretion do my business,
65   For 'tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
66   But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
67   Which, if my augury deceive me not,
68   Witness good bringing up, fortune and truth:
69   Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
70   Go presently and take this ring with thee,
71   Deliver it to Madam Silvia:
72   She loved me well deliver'd it to me.

73   It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
74   She is dead, belike?

75   Not so; I think she lives.

76   Alas!

77   Why dost thou cry 'alas'?

78   I cannot choose
79   But pity her.

80   Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?

81   Because methinks that she loved you as well
82   As you do love your lady Silvia:
83   She dreams of him that has forgot her love;
84   You dote on her that cares not for your love.
85   'Tis pity love should be so contrary;
86   And thinking of it makes me cry 'alas!'

87   Well, give her that ring and therewithal
88   This letter. That's her chamber. Tell my lady
89   I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
90   Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
91   Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.

92   How many women would do such a message?
93   Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain'd
94   A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
95   Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him
96   That with his very heart despiseth me?
97   Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
98   Because I love him I must pity him.
99   This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
100  To bind him to remember my good will;
101  And now am I, unhappy messenger,
102  To plead for that which I would not obtain,
103  To carry that which I would have refused,
104  To praise his faith which I would have dispraised.
105  I am my master's true-confirmed love;
106  But cannot be true servant to my master,
107  Unless I prove false traitor to myself.
108  Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
109  As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed.
Enter SILVIA, attended
110  Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean
111  To bring me where to speak with Madam Silvia.

112  What would you with her, if that I be she?

113  If you be she, I do entreat your patience
114  To hear me speak the message I am sent on.

115  From whom?

116  From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.

117  O, he sends you for a picture.

118  Ay, madam.

119  Ursula, bring my picture here.
120  Go give your master this: tell him from me,
121  One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
122  Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.

123  Madam, please you peruse this letter.--
124  Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
125  Deliver'd you a paper that I should not:
126  This is the letter to your ladyship.

127  I pray thee, let me look on that again.

128  It may not be; good madam, pardon me.

129  There, hold!
130  I will not look upon your master's lines:
131  I know they are stuff'd with protestations
132  And full of new-found oaths; which he will break
133  As easily as I do tear his paper.

134  Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.

135  The more shame for him that he sends it me;
136  For I have heard him say a thousand times
137  His Julia gave it him at his departure.
138  Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
139  Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.

140  She thanks you.

141  What say'st thou?

142  I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
143  Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much.

144  Dost thou know her?

145  Almost as well as I do know myself:
146  To think upon her woes I do protest
147  That I have wept a hundred several times.

148  Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.

149  I think she doth; and that's her cause of sorrow.

150  Is she not passing fair?

151  She hath been fairer, madam, than she is:
152  When she did think my master loved her well,
153  She, in my judgment, was as fair as you:
154  But since she did neglect her looking-glass
155  And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
156  The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
157  And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face,
158  That now she is become as black as I.

159  How tall was she?

160  About my stature; for at Pentecost,
161  When all our pageants of delight were play'd,
162  Our youth got me to play the woman's part,
163  And I was trimm'd in Madam Julia's gown,
164  Which served me as fit, by all men's judgments,
165  As if the garment had been made for me:
166  Therefore I know she is about my height.
167  And at that time I made her weep agood,
168  For I did play a lamentable part:
169  Madam, 'twas Ariadne passioning
170  For Theseus' perjury and unjust flight;
171  Which I so lively acted with my tears
172  That my poor mistress, moved therewithal,
173  Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
174  If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!

175  She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
176  Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
177  I weep myself to think upon thy words.
178  Here, youth, there is my purse; I give thee this
179  For thy sweet mistress' sake, because thou lovest her.
180  Farewell.

181  And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her.
182  A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful
183  I hope my master's suit will be but cold,
184  Since she respects my mistress' love so much.
185  Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
186  Here is her picture: let me see; I think,
187  If I had such a tire, this face of mine
188  Were full as lovely as is this of hers:
189  And yet the painter flatter'd her a little,
190  Unless I flatter with myself too much.
191  Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow:
192  If that be all the difference in his love,
193  I'll get me such a colour'd periwig.
194  Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine:
195  Ay, but her forehead's low, and mine's as high.
196  What should it be that he respects in her
197  But I can make respective in myself,
198  If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
199  Come, shadow, come and take this shadow up,
200  For 'tis thy rival. O thou senseless form,
201  Thou shalt be worshipp'd, kiss'd, loved and adored!
202  And, were there sense in his idolatry,
203  My substance should be statue in thy stead.
204  I'll use thee kindly for thy mistress' sake,
205  That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
206  I should have scratch'd out your unseeing eyes
207  To make my master out of love with thee!