1    No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.

2    Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.

3    You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.

4    Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the
5    count's serving-man than ever she bestowed upon me;
6    I saw't i' the orchard.

7    Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that.

8    As plain as I see you now.

9    This was a great argument of love in her toward you.

10   'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?

11   I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of
12   judgment and reason.

13   And they have been grand-jury-men since before Noah
14   was a sailor.

15   She did show favour to the youth in your sight only
16   to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to
17   put fire in your heart and brimstone in your liver.
18   You should then have accosted her; and with some
19   excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should
20   have banged the youth into dumbness. This was
21   looked for at your hand, and this was balked: the
22   double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash
23   off, and you are now sailed into the north of my
24   lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle
25   on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by
26   some laudable attempt either of valour or policy.

27   An't be any way, it must be with valour; for policy
28   I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a
29   politician.

30   Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of
31   valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight
32   with him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall
33   take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no
34   love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's
35   commendation with woman than report of valour.

36   There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.

37   Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?

38   Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief;
39   it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fun
40   of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink:
41   if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be
42   amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of
43   paper, although the sheet were big enough for the
44   bed of Ware in England, set 'em down: go, about it.
45   Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou
46   write with a goose-pen, no matter: about it.

47   Where shall I find you?

48   We'll call thee at the cubiculo: go.

49   This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.

50   I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand
51   strong, or so.

52   We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll
53   not deliver't?

54   Never trust me, then; and by all means stir on the
55   youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes
56   cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were
57   opened, and you find so much blood in his liver as
58   will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of
59   the anatomy.

60   And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no
61   great presage of cruelty.

62   Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.

63   If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourself
64   into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
65   turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no
66   Christian, that means to be saved by believing
67   rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages
68   of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.

69   And cross-gartered?

70   Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school
71   i' the church. I have dogged him, like his
72   murderer. He does obey every point of the letter
73   that I dropped to betray him: he does smile his
74   face into more lines than is in the new map with the
75   augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such
76   a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things
77   at him. I know my lady will strike him: if she do,
78   he'll smile and take't for a great favour.

79   Come, bring us, bring us where he is.