ACT I - SCENE II. Padua. Before HORTENSIO'S house.
Enter PETRUCHIO and his man GRUMIO
PETRUCHIO
1 Verona, for a while I take my leave, 2 To see my friends in Padua, but of all 3 My best beloved and approved friend, 4 Hortensio; and I trow this is his house. 5 Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say.
GRUMIO
6 Knock, sir! whom should I knock? is there man has 7 rebused your worship?
PETRUCHIO
8 Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
GRUMIO
9 Knock you here, sir! why, sir, what am I, sir, that 10 I should knock you here, sir?
PETRUCHIO
11 Villain, I say, knock me at this gate 12 And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate.
GRUMIO
13 My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock 14 you first, 15 And then I know after who comes by the worst.
PETRUCHIO
16 Will it not be? 17 Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll ring it; 18 I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
He wrings him by the ears
GRUMIO
19 Help, masters, help! my master is mad.
PETRUCHIO
20 Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!
Enter HORTENSIO
HORTENSIO
21 How now! what's the matter? My old friend Grumio! 22 and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona?
PETRUCHIO
23 Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray? 24 'Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato,' may I say.
HORTENSIO
25 'Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor 26 mio Petruchio.' Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound 27 this quarrel.
GRUMIO
28 Nay, 'tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin. 29 if this be not a lawful case for me to leave his 30 service, look you, sir, he bid me knock him and rap 31 him soundly, sir: well, was it fit for a servant to 32 use his master so, being perhaps, for aught I see, 33 two and thirty, a pip out? Whom would to God I had 34 well knock'd at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
PETRUCHIO
35 A senseless villain! Good Hortensio, 36 I bade the rascal knock upon your gate 37 And could not get him for my heart to do it.
GRUMIO
38 Knock at the gate! O heavens! Spake you not these 39 words plain, 'Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, 40 knock me well, and knock me soundly'? And come you 41 now with, 'knocking at the gate'?
PETRUCHIO
42 Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
HORTENSIO
43 Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge: 44 Why, this's a heavy chance 'twixt him and you, 45 Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio. 46 And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale 47 Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?
PETRUCHIO
48 Such wind as scatters young men through the world, 49 To seek their fortunes farther than at home 50 Where small experience grows. But in a few, 51 Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me: 52 Antonio, my father, is deceased; 53 And I have thrust myself into this maze, 54 Haply to wive and thrive as best I may: 55 Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home, 56 And so am come abroad to see the world.
HORTENSIO
57 Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee 58 And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour'd wife? 59 Thou'ldst thank me but a little for my counsel: 60 And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich 61 And very rich: but thou'rt too much my friend, 62 And I'll not wish thee to her.
PETRUCHIO
63 Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we 64 Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know 65 One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife, 66 As wealth is burden of my wooing dance, 67 Be she as foul as was Florentius' love, 68 As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd 69 As Socrates' Xanthippe, or a worse, 70 She moves me not, or not removes, at least, 71 Affection's edge in me, were she as rough 72 As are the swelling Adriatic seas: 73 I come to wive it wealthily in Padua; 74 If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
GRUMIO
75 Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his 76 mind is: Why give him gold enough and marry him to 77 a puppet or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er 78 a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases 79 as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss, 80 so money comes withal.
HORTENSIO
81 Petruchio, since we are stepp'd thus far in, 82 I will continue that I broach'd in jest. 83 I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife 84 With wealth enough and young and beauteous, 85 Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman: 86 Her only fault, and that is faults enough, 87 Is that she is intolerable curst 88 And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure 89 That, were my state far worser than it is, 90 I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
PETRUCHIO
91 Hortensio, peace! thou know'st not gold's effect: 92 Tell me her father's name and 'tis enough; 93 For I will board her, though she chide as loud 94 As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
HORTENSIO
95 Her father is Baptista Minola, 96 An affable and courteous gentleman: 97 Her name is Katharina Minola, 98 Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.
PETRUCHIO
99 I know her father, though I know not her; 100 And he knew my deceased father well. 101 I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her; 102 And therefore let me be thus bold with you 103 To give you over at this first encounter, 104 Unless you will accompany me thither.
GRUMIO
105 I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. 106 O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she 107 would think scolding would do little good upon him: 108 she may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so: 109 why, that's nothing; an he begin once, he'll rail in 110 his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what sir, an she 111 stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in 112 her face and so disfigure her with it that she 113 shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. 114 You know him not, sir.
HORTENSIO
115 Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee, 116 For in Baptista's keep my treasure is: 117 He hath the jewel of my life in hold, 118 His youngest daughter, beautiful Binaca, 119 And her withholds from me and other more, 120 Suitors to her and rivals in my love, 121 Supposing it a thing impossible, 122 For those defects I have before rehearsed, 123 That ever Katharina will be woo'd; 124 Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en, 125 That none shall have access unto Bianca 126 Till Katharina the curst have got a husband.
GRUMIO
127 Katharina the curst! 128 A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
HORTENSIO
129 Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace, 130 And offer me disguised in sober robes 131 To old Baptista as a schoolmaster 132 Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca; 133 That so I may, by this device, at least 134 Have leave and leisure to make love to her 135 And unsuspected court her by herself.
GRUMIO
136 Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, 137 how the young folks lay their heads together! Enter GREMIO, and LUCENTIO disguised 138 Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha?
HORTENSIO
139 Peace, Grumio! it is the rival of my love. 140 Petruchio, stand by a while.
GRUMIO
141 A proper stripling and an amorous!
GREMIO
142 O, very well; I have perused the note. 143 Hark you, sir: I'll have them very fairly bound: 144 All books of love, see that at any hand; 145 And see you read no other lectures to her: 146 You understand me: over and beside 147 Signior Baptista's liberality, 148 I'll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too, 149 And let me have them very well perfumed 150 For she is sweeter than perfume itself 151 To whom they go to. What will you read to her?
LUCENTIO
152 Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you 153 As for my patron, stand you so assured, 154 As firmly as yourself were still in place: 155 Yea, and perhaps with more successful words 156 Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
GREMIO
157 O this learning, what a thing it is!
GRUMIO
158 O this woodcock, what an ass it is!
PETRUCHIO
159 Peace, sirrah!
HORTENSIO
160 Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio.
GREMIO
161 And you are well met, Signior Hortensio. 162 Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola. 163 I promised to inquire carefully 164 About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca: 165 And by good fortune I have lighted well 166 On this young man, for learning and behavior 167 Fit for her turn, well read in poetry 168 And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.
HORTENSIO
169 'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman 170 Hath promised me to help me to another, 171 A fine musician to instruct our mistress; 172 So shall I no whit be behind in duty 173 To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.
GREMIO
174 Beloved of me; and that my deeds shall prove.
GRUMIO
175 And that his bags shall prove.
HORTENSIO
176 Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love: 177 Listen to me, and if you speak me fair, 178 I'll tell you news indifferent good for either. 179 Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met, 180 Upon agreement from us to his liking, 181 Will undertake to woo curst Katharina, 182 Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
GREMIO
183 So said, so done, is well. 184 Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?
PETRUCHIO
185 I know she is an irksome brawling scold: 186 If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
GREMIO
187 No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman?
PETRUCHIO
188 Born in Verona, old Antonio's son: 189 My father dead, my fortune lives for me; 190 And I do hope good days and long to see.
GREMIO
191 O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange! 192 But if you have a stomach, to't i' God's name: 193 You shall have me assisting you in all. 194 But will you woo this wild-cat?
PETRUCHIO
195 Will I live?
GRUMIO
196 Will he woo her? ay, or I'll hang her.
PETRUCHIO
197 Why came I hither but to that intent? 198 Think you a little din can daunt mine ears? 199 Have I not in my time heard lions roar? 200 Have I not heard the sea puff'd up with winds 201 Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat? 202 Have I not heard great ordnance in the field, 203 And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies? 204 Have I not in a pitched battle heard 205 Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang? 206 And do you tell me of a woman's tongue, 207 That gives not half so great a blow to hear 208 As will a chestnut in a farmer's fire? 209 Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.
GRUMIO
210 For he fears none.
GREMIO
211 Hortensio, hark: 212 This gentleman is happily arrived, 213 My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.
HORTENSIO
214 I promised we would be contributors 215 And bear his charging of wooing, whatsoe'er.
GREMIO
216 And so we will, provided that he win her.
GRUMIO
217 I would I were as sure of a good dinner.
Enter TRANIO brave, and BIONDELLO
TRANIO
218 Gentlemen, God save you. If I may be bold, 219 Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way 220 To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?
BIONDELLO
221 He that has the two fair daughters: is't he you mean?
TRANIO
222 Even he, Biondello.
GREMIO
223 Hark you, sir; you mean not her to--
TRANIO
224 Perhaps, him and her, sir: what have you to do?
PETRUCHIO
225 Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
TRANIO
226 I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let's away.
LUCENTIO
227 Well begun, Tranio.
HORTENSIO
228 Sir, a word ere you go; 229 Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?
TRANIO
230 And if I be, sir, is it any offence?
GREMIO
231 No; if without more words you will get you hence.
TRANIO
232 Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free 233 For me as for you?
GREMIO
234 But so is not she.
TRANIO
235 For what reason, I beseech you?
GREMIO
236 For this reason, if you'll know, 237 That she's the choice love of Signior Gremio.
HORTENSIO
238 That she's the chosen of Signior Hortensio.
TRANIO
239 Softly, my masters! if you be gentlemen, 240 Do me this right; hear me with patience. 241 Baptista is a noble gentleman, 242 To whom my father is not all unknown; 243 And were his daughter fairer than she is, 244 She may more suitors have and me for one. 245 Fair Leda's daughter had a thousand wooers; 246 Then well one more may fair Bianca have: 247 And so she shall; Lucentio shall make one, 248 Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.
GREMIO
249 What! this gentleman will out-talk us all.
LUCENTIO
250 Sir, give him head: I know he'll prove a jade.
PETRUCHIO
251 Hortensio, to what end are all these words?
HORTENSIO
252 Sir, let me be so bold as ask you, 253 Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter?
TRANIO
254 No, sir; but hear I do that he hath two, 255 The one as famous for a scolding tongue 256 As is the other for beauteous modesty.
PETRUCHIO
257 Sir, sir, the first's for me; let her go by.
GREMIO
258 Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules; 259 And let it be more than Alcides' twelve.
PETRUCHIO
260 Sir, understand you this of me in sooth: 261 The youngest daughter whom you hearken for 262 Her father keeps from all access of suitors, 263 And will not promise her to any man 264 Until the elder sister first be wed: 265 The younger then is free and not before.
TRANIO
266 If it be so, sir, that you are the man 267 Must stead us all and me amongst the rest, 268 And if you break the ice and do this feat, 269 Achieve the elder, set the younger free 270 For our access, whose hap shall be to have her 271 Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
HORTENSIO
272 Sir, you say well and well you do conceive; 273 And since you do profess to be a suitor, 274 You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman, 275 To whom we all rest generally beholding.
TRANIO
276 Sir, I shall not be slack: in sign whereof, 277 Please ye we may contrive this afternoon, 278 And quaff carouses to our mistress' health, 279 And do as adversaries do in law, 280 Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
GRUMIO
281 O excellent motion! Fellows, let's be gone.
HORTENSIO
282 The motion's good indeed and be it so, 283 Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.