1    Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-
2    chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John
3    Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

4    In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and
5    'Coram.'

6    Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum.

7    Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,
8    master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any
9    bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.'

10   Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three
11   hundred years.

12   All his successors gone before him hath done't; and
13   all his ancestors that come after him may: they may
14   give the dozen white luces in their coat.

15   It is an old coat.

16   The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;
17   it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to
18   man, and signifies love.

19   The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

20   I may quarter, coz.

21   You may, by marrying.

22   It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

23   Not a whit.

24   Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,
25   there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
26   simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir
27   John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto
28   you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my
29   benevolence to make atonements and compremises
30   between you.

31   The council shall bear it; it is a riot.

32   It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no
33   fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall
34   desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a
35   riot; take your vizaments in that.

36   Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword
37   should end it.

38   It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:
39   and there is also another device in my prain, which
40   peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there
41   is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas
42   Page, which is pretty virginity.

43   Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks
44   small like a woman.

45   It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as
46   you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,
47   and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his
48   death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!
49   --give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years
50   old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles
51   and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master
52   Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

53   Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

54   Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

55   I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

56   Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.

57   Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

58   Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do
59   despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
60   is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I
61   beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will
62   peat the door for Master Page.
Knocks
63   What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

Within
64    Who's there?

65   Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice
66   Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that
67   peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
68   matters grow to your likings.

69   I am glad to see your worships well.
70   I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

71   Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it
72   your good heart! I wished your venison better; it
73   was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I
74   thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

75   Sir, I thank you.

76   Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

77   I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

78   How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he
79   was outrun on Cotsall.

80   It could not be judged, sir.

81   You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

82   That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;
83   'tis a good dog.

84   A cur, sir.

85   Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be
86   more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John
87   Falstaff here?

88   Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good
89   office between you.

90   It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

91   He hath wronged me, Master Page.

92   Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

93   If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that
94   so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he
95   hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert
96   Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.

97   Here comes Sir John.

98   Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king?

99   Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and
100  broke open my lodge.

101  But not kissed your keeper's daughter?

102  Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

103  I will answer it straight; I have done all this.
104  That is now answered.

105  The council shall know this.

106  'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:
107  you'll be laughed at.

108  Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.

109  Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your
110  head: what matter have you against me?

111  Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;
112  and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,
113  Nym, and Pistol.

114  You Banbury cheese!

115  Ay, it is no matter.

116  How now, Mephostophilus!

117  Ay, it is no matter.

118  Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour.

119  Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

120  Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is
121  three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that
122  is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is
123  myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,
124  lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

125  We three, to hear it and end it between them.

126  Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-
127  book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with
128  as great discreetly as we can.

129  Pistol!

130  He hears with ears.

131  The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He
132  hears with ear'? why, it is affectations.

133  Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

134  Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might
135  never come in mine own great chamber again else, of
136  seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward
137  shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two
138  pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

139  Is this true, Pistol?

140  No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

141  Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine,
142  I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
143  Word of denial in thy labras here!
144  Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest!

145  By these gloves, then, 'twas he.

146  Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say
147  'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's
148  humour on me; that is the very note of it.

149  By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for
150  though I cannot remember what I did when you made me
151  drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

152  What say you, Scarlet and John?

153  Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk
154  himself out of his five sentences.

155  It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is!

156  And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and
157  so conclusions passed the careires.

158  Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no
159  matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again,
160  but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:
161  if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have
162  the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

163  So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

164  You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

165  Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.

166  O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.

167  How now, Mistress Ford!

168  Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:
169  by your leave, good mistress.

170  Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a
171  hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope
172  we shall drink down all unkindness.

173  I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of
174  Songs and Sonnets here.
Enter SIMPLE
175  How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait
176  on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles
177  about you, have you?

178  Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice
179  Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight
180  afore Michaelmas?

181  Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with
182  you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a
183  tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh
184  here. Do you understand me?

185  Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,
186  I shall do that that is reason.

187  Nay, but understand me.

188  So I do, sir.

189  Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will
190  description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

191  Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray
192  you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his
193  country, simple though I stand here.

194  But that is not the question: the question is
195  concerning your marriage.

196  Ay, there's the point, sir.

197  Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.

198  Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
199  reasonable demands.

200  But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to
201  know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers
202  philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the
203  mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your
204  good will to the maid?

205  Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

206  I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that
207  would do reason.

208  Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak
209  possitable, if you can carry her your desires
210  towards her.

211  That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

212  I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
213  request, cousin, in any reason.

214  Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do
215  is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?

216  I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there
217  be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may
218  decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are
219  married and have more occasion to know one another;
220  I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt:
221  but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that
222  I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

223  It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in
224  the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our
225  meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good.

226  Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

227  Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!

228  Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
Re-enter ANNE PAGE
229  Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!

230  The dinner is on the table; my father desires your
231  worships' company.

232  I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.

233  Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.

234  Will't please your worship to come in, sir?

235  No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

236  The dinner attends you, sir.

237  I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,
238  sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my
239  cousin Shallow.
Exit SIMPLE
240  A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his
241  friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
242  yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I
243  live like a poor gentleman born.

244  I may not go in without your worship: they will not
245  sit till you come.

246  I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as
247  though I did.

248  I pray you, sir, walk in.

249  I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
250  my shin th' other day with playing at sword and
251  dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a
252  dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot
253  abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
254  dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?

255  I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

256  I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at
257  it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see
258  the bear loose, are you not?

259  Ay, indeed, sir.

260  That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen
261  Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by
262  the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so
263  cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,
264  indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored
265  rough things.

266  Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.

267  I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

268  By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.

269  Nay, pray you, lead the way.

270  Come on, sir.

271  Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.

272  Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.

273  I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.
274  You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!