1    What wouldst thou have, boor? what: thick-skin?
2    speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

3    Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff
4    from Master Slender.

5    There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his
6    standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about
7    with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go
8    knock and call; hell speak like an Anthropophaginian
9    unto thee: knock, I say.

10   There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his
11   chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come
12   down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

13   Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll
14   call. Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from
15   thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine
16   host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Above
17    How now, mine host!

18   Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of
19   thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her
20   descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy?
21   fie!

22   There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with
23   me; but she's gone.

24   Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of
25   Brentford?

26   Ay, marry, was it, mussel-shell: what would you with her?

27   My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing
28   her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether
29   one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the
30   chain or no.

31   I spake with the old woman about it.

32   And what says she, I pray, sir?

33   Marry, she says that the very same man that
34   beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of
35   it.

36   I would I could have spoken with the woman herself;
37   I had other things to have spoken with her too from
38   him.

39   What are they? let us know.

40   Ay, come; quick.

41   I may not conceal them, sir.

42   Conceal them, or thou diest.

43   Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne
44   Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to
45   have her or no.

46   'Tis, 'tis his fortune.

47   What, sir?

48   To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so.

49   May I be bold to say so, sir?

50   Ay, sir; like who more bold.

51   I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad
52   with these tidings.

53   Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was
54   there a wise woman with thee?

55   Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught
56   me more wit than ever I learned before in my life;
57   and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for
58   my learning.

59   Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!

60   Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto.

61   Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I came
62   beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind one of
63   them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away,
64   like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

65   They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not
66   say they be fled; Germans are honest men.

67   Where is mine host?

68   What is the matter, sir?

69   Have a care of your entertainments: there is a
70   friend of mine come to town tells me there is three
71   cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of
72   Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and
73   money. I tell you for good will, look you: you
74   are wise and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and
75   'tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare you well.

76   Vere is mine host de Jarteer?

77   Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.

78   I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me dat
79   you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by
80   my trot, dere is no duke dat the court is know to
81   come. I tell you for good vill: adieu.

82   Hue and cry, villain, go! Assist me, knight. I am
83   undone! Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone!

84   I would all the world might be cozened; for I have
85   been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to
86   the ear of the court, how I have been transformed
87   and how my transformation hath been washed and
88   cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat drop by
89   drop and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant
90   they would whip me with their fine wits till I were
91   as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered
92   since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my
93   wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY
94   Now, whence come you?

95   From the two parties, forsooth.

96   The devil take one party and his dam the other! and
97   so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more
98   for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy
99   of man's disposition is able to bear.

100  And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant;
101  speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart,
102  is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a
103  white spot about her.

104  What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was
105  beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow;
106  and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of
107  Brentford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit,
108  my counterfeiting the action of an old woman,
109  delivered me, the knave constable had set me i' the
110  stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

111  Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you
112  shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your
113  content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good
114  hearts, what ado here is to bring you together!
115  Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that
116  you are so crossed.

117  Come up into my chamber.