1 I pray you now, good master Slender's serving-man, 2 and friend Simple by your name, which way have you 3 looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic?
SIMPLE
4 Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every 5 way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town 6 way.
SIR HUGH EVANS
7 I most fehemently desire you you will also look that 8 way.
SIMPLE
9 I will, sir.
Exit
SIR HUGH EVANS
10 'Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and 11 trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have 12 deceived me. How melancholies I am! I will knog 13 his urinals about his knave's costard when I have 14 good opportunities for the ork. 'Pless my soul! Sings 15 To shallow rivers, to whose falls 16 Melodious birds sings madrigals; 17 There will we make our peds of roses, 18 And a thousand fragrant posies. 19 To shallow-- 20 Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. Sings 21 Melodious birds sing madrigals-- 22 When as I sat in Pabylon-- 23 And a thousand vagram posies. 24 To shallow &c.
Re-enter SIMPLE
SIMPLE
25 Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.
SIR HUGH EVANS
26 He's welcome. Sings 27 To shallow rivers, to whose falls- 28 Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE
29 No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master 30 Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over 31 the stile, this way.
SIR HUGH EVANS
32 Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER
SHALLOW
33 How now, master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. 34 Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student 35 from his book, and it is wonderful.
SLENDER
Aside 36 Ah, sweet Anne Page!
PAGE
37 'Save you, good Sir Hugh!
SIR HUGH EVANS
38 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!
SHALLOW
39 What, the sword and the word! do you study them 40 both, master parson?
PAGE
41 And youthful still! in your doublet and hose this 42 raw rheumatic day!
SIR HUGH EVANS
43 There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE
44 We are come to you to do a good office, master parson.
SIR HUGH EVANS
45 Fery well: what is it?
PAGE
46 Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike 47 having received wrong by some person, is at most 48 odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you 49 saw.
SHALLOW
50 I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never 51 heard a man of his place, gravity and learning, so 52 wide of his own respect.
SIR HUGH EVANS
53 What is he?
PAGE
54 I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, the 55 renowned French physician.
SIR HUGH EVANS
56 Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as 57 lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE
58 Why?
SIR HUGH EVANS
59 He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen, 60 --and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you 61 would desires to be acquainted withal.
PAGE
62 I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.
SHALLOW
Aside 63 O sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW
64 It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder: 65 here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter Host, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY
PAGE
66 Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW
67 So do you, good master doctor.
Host
68 Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep 69 their limbs whole and hack our English.
DOCTOR CAIUS
70 I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. 71 Vherefore vill you not meet-a me?
SIR HUGH EVANS
Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS 72 Pray you, use your patience: 73 in good time.
DOCTOR CAIUS
74 By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.
SIR HUGH EVANS
Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS 75 Pray you let us not be 76 laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you 77 in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. Aloud 78 I will knog your urinals about your knave's cockscomb 79 for missing your meetings and appointments.
DOCTOR CAIUS
80 Diable! Jack Rugby,--mine host de Jarteer,--have I 81 not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place 82 I did appoint?
SIR HUGH EVANS
83 As I am a Christians soul now, look you, this is the 84 place appointed: I'll be judgement by mine host of 85 the Garter.
Host
86 Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, 87 soul-curer and body-curer!
DOCTOR CAIUS
88 Ay, dat is very good; excellent.
Host
89 Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I 90 politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I 91 lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the 92 motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir 93 Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the 94 no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so. Give me 95 thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have 96 deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong 97 places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are 98 whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay 99 their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace; 100 follow, follow, follow.
SHALLOW
101 Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.
SLENDER
Aside 102 O sweet Anne Page!
Exeunt SHALLOW, SLENDER, PAGE, and Host
DOCTOR CAIUS
103 Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of 104 us, ha, ha?
SIR HUGH EVANS
105 This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I 106 desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog 107 our prains together to be revenge on this same 108 scall, scurvy cogging companion, the host of the Garter.
DOCTOR CAIUS
109 By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me 110 where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.
SIR HUGH EVANS
111 Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow.
