1    Nay, that's right; but why wear you your leek today?
2    Saint Davy's day is past.

3    There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in
4    all things: I will tell you, asse my friend,
5    Captain Gower: the rascally, scald, beggarly,
6    lousy, pragging knave, Pistol, which you and
7    yourself and all the world know to be no petter
8    than a fellow, look you now, of no merits, he is
9    come to me and prings me pread and salt yesterday,
10   look you, and bid me eat my leek: it was in place
11   where I could not breed no contention with him; but
12   I will be so bold as to wear it in my cap till I see
13   him once again, and then I will tell him a little
14   piece of my desires.

15   Why, here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.

16   'Tis no matter for his swellings nor his
17   turkey-cocks. God pless you, Aunchient Pistol! you
18   scurvy, lousy knave, God pless you!

19   Ha! art thou bedlam? dost thou thirst, base Trojan,
20   To have me fold up Parca's fatal web?
21   Hence! I am qualmish at the smell of leek.

22   I peseech you heartily, scurvy, lousy knave, at my
23   desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to eat,
24   look you, this leek: because, look you, you do not
25   love it, nor your affections and your appetites and
26   your digestions doo's not agree with it, I would
27   desire you to eat it.

28   Not for Cadwallader and all his goats.

29   There is one goat for you.
Strikes him
30   Will you be so good, scauld knave, as eat it?

31   Base Trojan, thou shalt die.

32   You say very true, scauld knave, when God's will is:
33   I will desire you to live in the mean time, and eat
34   your victuals: come, there is sauce for it.
Strikes him
35   You called me yesterday mountain-squire; but I will
36   make you to-day a squire of low degree. I pray you,
37   fall to: if you can mock a leek, you can eat a leek.

38   Enough, captain: you have astonished him.

39   I say, I will make him eat some part of my leek, or
40   I will peat his pate four days. Bite, I pray you; it
41   is good for your green wound and your ploody coxcomb.

42   Must I bite?

43   Yes, certainly, and out of doubt and out of question
44   too, and ambiguities.

45   By this leek, I will most horribly revenge: I eat
46   and eat, I swear--

47   Eat, I pray you: will you have some more sauce to
48   your leek? there is not enough leek to swear by.

49   Quiet thy cudgel; thou dost see I eat.

50   Much good do you, scauld knave, heartily. Nay, pray
51   you, throw none away; the skin is good for your
52   broken coxcomb. When you take occasions to see leeks
53   hereafter, I pray you, mock at 'em; that is all.

54   Good.

55   Ay, leeks is good: hold you, there is a groat to
56   heal your pate.

57   Me a groat!

58   Yes, verily and in truth, you shall take it; or I
59   have another leek in my pocket, which you shall eat.

60   I take thy groat in earnest of revenge.

61   If I owe you any thing, I will pay you in cudgels:
62   you shall be a woodmonger, and buy nothing of me but
63   cudgels. God b' wi' you, and keep you, and heal your pate.

64   All hell shall stir for this.

65   Go, go; you are a counterfeit cowardly knave. Will
66   you mock at an ancient tradition, begun upon an
67   honourable respect, and worn as a memorable trophy of
68   predeceased valour and dare not avouch in your deeds
69   any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and
70   galling at this gentleman twice or thrice. You
71   thought, because he could not speak English in the
72   native garb, he could not therefore handle an
73   English cudgel: you find it otherwise; and
74   henceforth let a Welsh correction teach you a good
75   English condition. Fare ye well.

76   Doth Fortune play the huswife with me now?
77   News have I, that my Nell is dead i' the spital
78   Of malady of France;
79   And there my rendezvous is quite cut off.
80   Old I do wax; and from my weary limbs
81   Honour is cudgelled. Well, bawd I'll turn,
82   And something lean to cutpurse of quick hand.
83   To England will I steal, and there I'll steal:
84   And patches will I get unto these cudgell'd scars,
85   And swear I got them in the Gallia wars.