1    Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
2    I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
3    To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
4    My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
5    And will not lightly trust the messenger
6    That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
7    I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.
Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end
8    Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
9    How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?

10   Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

11   But where's the money?

12   Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.

13   Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

14   I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.

15   To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?

16   To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.

17   And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.

18   Good sir, be patient.

19   Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

20   Good, now, hold thy tongue.

21   Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.

22   Thou whoreson, senseless villain!

23   I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel
24   your blows.

25   I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
26   ears. I have served him from the hour of my
27   nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
28   hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
29   heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
30   with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
31   raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
32   it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
33   I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
34   beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
35   lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.

36   Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

37   Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or
38   rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
39   rope's-end.'

40   Wilt thou still talk?

41   How say you now? is not your husband mad?

42   His incivility confirms no less.
43   Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
44   Establish him in his true sense again,
45   And I will please you what you will demand.

46   Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!

47   Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!

48   Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.

49   There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

50   I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
51   To yield possession to my holy prayers
52   And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
53   I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!

54   Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.

55   O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!

56   You minion, you, are these your customers?
57   Did this companion with the saffron face
58   Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
59   Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
60   And I denied to enter in my house?

61   O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
62   Where would you had remain'd until this time,
63   Free from these slanders and this open shame!

64   Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?

65   Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.

66   Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?

67   Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.

68   And did not she herself revile me there?

69   Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.

70   Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?

71   Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.

72   And did not I in rage depart from thence?

73   In verity you did; my bones bear witness,
74   That since have felt the vigour of his rage.

75   Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?

76   It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein,
77   And yielding to him humours well his frenzy.

78   Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.

79   Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
80   By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

81   Money by me! heart and goodwill you might;
82   But surely master, not a rag of money.

83   Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?

84   He came to me and I deliver'd it.

85   And I am witness with her that she did.

86   God and the rope-maker bear me witness
87   That I was sent for nothing but a rope!

88   Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
89   I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
90   They must be bound and laid in some dark room.

91   Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?
92   And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

93   I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

94   And, gentle master, I received no gold;
95   But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.

96   Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

97   Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
98   And art confederate with a damned pack
99   To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
100  But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
101  That would behold in me this shameful sport.

102  O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me.

103  More company! The fiend is strong within him.

104  Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!

105  What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
106  I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
107  To make a rescue?

108  Masters, let him go
109  He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

110  Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.

111  What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
112  Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
113  Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

114  He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
115  The debt he owes will be required of me.

116  I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
117  Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
118  And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
119  Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
120  Home to my house. O most unhappy day!

121  O most unhappy strumpet!

122  Master, I am here entered in bond for you.

123  Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?

124  Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master:
125  cry 'The devil!'

126  God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!

127  Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.
128  Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?

129  One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him?

130  I know the man. What is the sum he owes?

131  Two hundred ducats.

132  Say, how grows it due?

133  Due for a chain your husband had of him.

134  He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.

135  When as your husband all in rage to-day
136  Came to my house and took away my ring--
137  The ring I saw upon his finger now--
138  Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

139  It may be so, but I did never see it.
140  Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:
141  I long to know the truth hereof at large.

142  God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.

143  And come with naked swords.
144  Let's call more help to have them bound again.

145  Away! they'll kill us.

146  I see these witches are afraid of swords.

147  She that would be your wife now ran from you.

148  Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
149  I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

150  Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
151  no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
152  methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
153  the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
154  me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
155  turn witch.

156  I will not stay to-night for all the town;
157  Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.